In a shocking upset Monday, Touchdown, the Garrison family Labrador Retriever, beat his master Jim Garrison in all three matches they played. This upset destroyed over 40 years of thought that Touchdown "wasn't very smart, because he only beat Jim 2 times out of 3 the last time they played chess." When asked to comment on his complete and utter failure, Garrison mumbled "I was a mouse fighting a gorilla." Touchdown declined to comment, opting to shit on the lawn instead.
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