Insignificant Feuds of the 1990s

If I was ever at a dinner party with Beck, Hanson, Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson there first topic of conversation I would bring up is the New Radicals. Are they bitter towards this 1990's pop anthem, and the New Radicals who delivered said message? Did they ever feel threatened the New Radicals would kick their asses?

After addressing this issue, which has been a big question mark in my life since 1998, I would probably bail on the dinner party. They're all fakes, run to your mansions.

chRONicles

A recent quote from Ron :

"Drinking a Red Bull is like drinking a cigarette."

Rejected Before & Afters

Its no secret that Steve and I used to work as clue writers for Jeopardy. In our time there we spent the majority of our efforts on Before & After clues. Most of our clever clues were rejected and deemed 'silly' or 'weird' by our peers. Here is another example of our efforts:

Two-time Cubs all star short stop and 1996 Jason Alexander family film.

Baby Names

I've never procreated before but I have thought about the second most important part of the process; naming the baby. Whats most often overlooked is the middle name. A middle name that compliments the first name can do wonders for a child. My friend Steve recently recommend a combo that would not only make for a solid name, but a pretty amazing nickname too. It got me thinking about other possible combos and I came up with the following best of list. I will begin with Steve's idea:



***Jason Patric / nickname = Cruise Control
Great name, even better nickname. The world needs more Speed 2 jokes.


*** Shawn Michaels / nickname = The Heartbreak Kid


***Patrick Jane / nickname = The Mentalist


***Tommy John / nickname = Surgery



***James Andrews / nickname = The Surgeon


I'd be doing a disservice if I didn't warn future parents about these potential baby names:


***Reginald Dwight / nickname = Elton John



***Ron Paul / nickname = The Revolution



***Eddie Murray / nickname = Steady Eddie



***Zach Randolph / nickname = Zbo




***Anne Frank / nickname = Is this really necessary? Just don't name a girl Anne Frank. Just don't.

Bad Song Lyric of the day

Artist: Limp Bizkit
Song: Bring It On

"Hate, a feeling I don't really get
But hate can get you in some serious shit
And time is something that may change me
But I can't change time so fuck it"

Heroes of the Late 1990's

544 Camp

Every other show on tv is spawned from Law & Order or CSI. How come no one has ripped off 30 Rock? Well, someone finally has.........me. Its called 544 Camp and its all about a whacky crew that works for Guy Banister, a New Orleans private investigator.

Instead of Liz Lemon, our protagonist is none other than Guy Banister himself. Guy's resume includes being a gun runner for the CIA, working with the Office of Naval Intelligence, running a training camp for Cuban exiles, and helping to coordinate Operation Mongoose.

On 30 Rock, the character of Tracy Jordan is the erratic/loose canon star of the show. 544 Camp will have a similar wild character = Mr. David Ferrie. Only a gay defrocked priest can match up with Tracy Jordan.

Kenneth Parcell is 30 Rock's obedient page. Lee Harvey Oswald will take on this role on 544 Camp. "He's just a patsy."

Jack Donaghy is the executive who oversees 30 Rock and 544 Camp will have its own 'suit' overseeing its operations. Clay Shaw, aks Clay Bertrand, is a suave gentleman who knows not to engage in badinage with youngsters.

Other Characters:
Jenna Maroney role played by Beverly, a two-bit showgirl.
Pete Hornberger role played by Jack Martin, Guy's assistant, and potential author.